I was originally spawned on the other side of the world, I spent my early days on a land where things were green, little birds tweeted and it rained quite a lot, and when Summer did come it was glorious, fields of poppies beamed , appleblossom scented the trees and it was light until 10.o.clock at night. No I am not Jane Austen or a frog, but of course I am a bloody Pom as I am often referred to.
I have lived in this Fast Sexy City called Sydney for many years and I have come to love it, it is everything I wasn't before, but it can leave you feeling a bit confused, as if you are a washing machine full of whites with a couple of pink socks inside that have run. People in your new country still regard you as a slight Alien. People back home treat you as if you have abandoned them off a sinking ship. Then when you have lived somewhere for so long you turn into a bitsa, rejecting bits from your old country and replacing them with bits from your new country, you know words, a bit of an accent, actually liking Pumpkin and eating Vegemite.
When you return to the homeland it's as if you have indecently assualted someone when you mention your new bits. So the answer is? well there isn't one, but I do eat Marmite when I go back home and agree that Pumpkin should not be eaten and lay off the lingo a bit! It's like leading a double life.
In honour of my adopted Homeland-10 Things I love I would like to share with you.
1. Cafes-they are frigging everywhere-can't get enough of them
2. The harbour-no where else like it on earth.
3. Beaches, not a grey stony pebble in sight, just heaven ( apart from Bondi sorry too many backpackers with funny accents! )
4. The beautiful Aussie people ( mostly ) love the straight talking no bullshit approach.
5. The way long words are shortened and short words are lengthened ( My husband's excuse as to why we could not call our daughter Alexandra )
6. The big blue skies that go on forever, London has very low skies-honestly.
7. The Melting pot of different cultures that churn out yummy food for me to pig out on
8. The way Aussies are so competetive at Sport
9. My 2 kids who are fair dinkum little Aussies, although the little one has a slight English accent sometimes, probably due to an insane amount of speech therapy we had to do.
10. The wild life , not my kids but the kangaroo's, Possums, Koala's, Echidna's they are seriously like no other creatures on earth.
10 not so great things...
1. House prices, seriously mental
2. Pauline Hansen-what the????? she should be deported on grounds of insanity and her dress sense too.
3. The way Aussies are so competitive at sport ( I love/ hate this one at the same time )
4. News programs , the world news is a bit slim unless you flick to SBS.
5. Too many American stinky programs, Australia you have talent!
6. When it rains it hammers down, a bit of drizzle would be nice
7. Road Tolls should be called Road Trolls
8. Too many dangerous things in one place that can kill you, I think this needs to be re- negotiated-seriously no disrespect to the red belly black snake living in my garden-that might have eaten the cat!
9. It's so far away from anywhere else especially europe and my Loved ones.
10. Long lost friends, relatives , and friends of friends who you don't even know always come and visit because it's such a Great Destination, and think it's ok to stay with you as long as they like.
So 3 cheers for Sydney and If Tourism Australia would like me to promote this promised Land I am more than happy to do so. If they would like me in a bikini running along a beach in , this might need to be negotiated and I would need a few months to prepare my svelte like body, sorry Lara B, you're out and i'm In!!!
( have just had a thought maybe Snow Scene in Threadbo would be a better option, we don't want to scare away the tourists )